My Inspiration

My Inspiration
"Soon, I'll have my little angel"

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Day 3: Sticking to Fertility Diet

I survived the caffeine thing. I have slept fine the past few nights. The first night I fell asleep at 7:00 and slept like the dead. I am really enjoying my different options of green-tea. Cranberry-pomagrante is my favorite so far. I have discovered a great way to sweeten my iced-green tea without sugar or sugar substitute, I squeeze the juice an orange into the pitcher. It gives better flavor and just enough sweetness. The cutting out of white sugars has not been that difficult since I already had changed over to whole-wheat breads, pastas and rice. My husband is not a fan of these foods but I have found sneaky ways to use them without him knowing. However the brown rice texture is hard to cover, so he just suffers through it. I am thankful for that new pasta that is whole grain, but looks like regular white pasta.

As many of us know, sticking to a diet is hard when the people you cook for are not, nor need to be on a diet. Since my husband cannot cook anything other than eggs, he will eat anything I put infront of him. I am thankful for this, but it makes me kind of sad as well because I know its not food that he loves. As his wife, I want him to enjoy the meals I prepare for him. As any other wife, I really enjoy seeing my husband happy. We know the saying, "the key to a man's heart is in his stomach", but how do I make him happy and still keep myself healthy and fertile? Since my husband is originally from Mexico, his preferred food is obvious. I too absolutely love real Mexican food, and have learned to cook it. While the Mexican's use primarily fresh ingredients in their cooking, they also use a lot of frying oil, and corn tortillas. Both of which are not a part of the fertility food plan. I have found as with all things balance is the key. Since I refuse to cook two separate meals for two people, Flor and I came to agreement that Saturday dinner would be his day to eat what he wants. I will cook whatever meal he desires. I hope that one day off the fertility food plan won't be detrimental to my overall goal. As much as I desire a child and firmly believe that my future child is worth all I can give, I WILL not sacrifice my marriage or my husband. We are a team in this journey, and we both have already made larger sacrifices than food.

The last two days I have eaten nothing but organic fruits, and vegetables, whole-grains and lean protein. I have done well in sticking to this diet, but it has only really been three days of being strict. If anyone has any recipes that work with the fertility food plan that you think my husband would like, please share with them with me!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day 1: First Day Without Caffeine...Oh, my aching head!

I always thought caffeine headaches were a joke, but right now my head hurts so bad that I can't even keep my hair in ponytail. It's 2:00 in the afternoon and the subtle pounding in my head began about two hours ago. I did fine when I woke up, I made my self a cup of hot cherry flavored green tea sweetened with honey. Not exactly a caramel macchiato, but still pretty good. By 10:00 I felt good, and thought phew, "this caffeine thing...I got this!" Enter 12:00 lunch time, when I usually have an iced coffee or a diet coke, but substituted Iced Green Tea. I was two bites into my very healthy Grilled Cheese (provolone on whole wheat, made with cooking spray instead of butter) when a small pounding began above my eyes. I quickly took 2 Tylenol and drank a bottle of water. The Tylenol worked until about forty-five minutes ago. I wonder if it is too early to take two more. The bottle says every four hours. It would be a real shame to break an addiction to caffeine only to go on an addiction to Tylenol. Is that even possible? People are addicted to everything these days, so I am sure someone is addicted to Tylenol. Hopefully it won't be me. I researched caffeine headache cures and they offered a few helpful suggestions such as: Have someone give you a massage. I looked around my empty house..."anyone? Anyone?" Nope the massage thing is out until Flor gets home. Even then if my head hurts this badly by the time he gets home, the last thing I am going to want is him touching my head. So I think the massage is out. The next suggestion to softening the caffeine headache was to take a steaming hot shower and inhale the steam through my nose. This sounds promising, if you live in a house where the hot water lasts more than ten minutes in each shower. Our household quick showers save the environment, but really stink at relaxing my aching head. Another suggestion is to go for a jog or run....HA I say! I hate to run with a normal head, but with a head swollen and fuzzy I am likely to run into traffic and get run over by a Prius. There really are a lot of those around here lately! I wonder if they save the environment as well as my ten minute showers do?

Are you ready for the really splendid part of this whole caffeine withdrawal misery that I am in? The research I've done says that tomorrow will be worse!! And tonight I might not be able to sleep. But... the light at the end of the tunnel: No one has ever died from a caffeine withdrawal! Maybe not, but I know a dog next door who barks day and night, that might. (For some reason it's louder today)

I am just kidding of course about the violence, but the headache is real but i know that when I have my baby, it will all be worth it. My future baby is worth any sacrifice I can make. Besides, if I can survive caffeine withdrawal, child birth should be cake....right???

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Why am I on the journey to motherhood?

Most people think that becoming a mother is a no-brainer, but for the 10 percent of women ages 20-40 being a mother is dream. At times a seemingly impossible dream. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom or PCOS. My husband and I have been married for almost five years and have spent nearly four of them trying to start a family. We have been to doctors, suffered through many tests, tried different treatments all to no avail. Most people who know us tell us things like "be patient," "stop trying so hard," "everything happens for a reason." We understand they mean well and appreciate the fact that they care, however, all these people have children and don't understand what we are going through. We are the only couple amongst our group of friends without children. We either have no one to hang out with or are the designated babysitter. People who have known me all my life are often surprised to learn that I don't have children yet because I love children so much. Most have the sensitivity to understand that it is not by my own choice. I WANT KIDS!! I get angry that it is so easy for people who probably shouldn't be parents to become parents and that people like me cannot. You may wonder why I don't just adopt. Well, it's simple. Adoption is very expensive and we cannot afford it. Look up the costs of adoption it's ridiculous. We wonder why there are so many orphaned children in this world.

The bare-bones of my reason for this journey is this:

*I love kids and have a heartbreaking desire to be a mother.
*I have a very loving husband who really wants a child.
*I've tried things the regular way without sucess.
*I do not get a monthly period, I have gone as long as a year at times.
*I am overweight (A big factor in my infertilty and a result of my PCOS). Along with conceiving I will be healthier as well.
*I have PCOS: An insulin resistance disease that makes it hard for my body to break down sugars properly.
*I will be held accountable to the readers of this blog to stay true to the journey.

What My Journey Will Include Is This:

*A strict "Fertility Food Plan" to aid in both conception and weightloss. I will post my "Fertility Food List" and my daily menus on the sight.
*A daily excercise plan. So that my body will be healthy enough to conceive, carry and give birth to a baby.

I will post daily blogs about my struggles and give updates about my progress. I will love to hear any ideas that have worked for others in my situation. My main goal for this blog is accountability. I am a lazy person and am not easily self motivated, however I hate to let people down and be a disappointment.

Day 1 starts tomorrow. I have start my day without coffee or any caffeine. Caffeine and Sugar are the red-headed step children of this journey. And also my addictions. We'll see how it goes.

Let My Journey to Motherhood begin...