My Journey to Motherhood: Happy Mother's Day!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!!

The last three years of Mother's day have been difficult because they are yet another reminder of what I most want in this world but don't yet have. This year for Mother's Day I decided not to focus on me and my not being a mother; instead I decided to torture myself on a 3 mile walk for Breast Cancer Research. It was blast!! I met some wonderful people, and some breast cancer survivors who put me to shame with their positive attitude towards what they cannot change but are on a journey to try. Of these women that I met some have lost their breasts, some have lost their mothers, grandmothers, sisters and daughters, some have lost their hair and have suffered losses of which I will probably never understand. Being with these strong, beautiful women made me feel small, but not in a bad way. I felt like in the grand scheme of things I am one of the luckiest people in the world, and too often I forget that because it's so much easier to dwell on the negative than to thank God for the positive.

I know my infertility is no small matter, believe me, I know! And nothing can really make the empty ache of my heart go away, except of course a BFP! But this weekend was a nice reminder that each woman in this world is on their own journey, some are on a journey to find a cure for breast cancer, some are on a journey of high risk pregnancy, or a journey of first-time pregnancy or a journey of infertility. Each journey is difficult and each journey consumes the everyday life of the woman on it. I don't know about you but that makes me feel a little less alone in my own journey.

My participation in this walk did little to lessen my ache to be a mother, but it did give me the encouragement to keep on my journey. Some of the woman I met were fighting for their lives and the lives of their future generations, and if they give up they die. My journey is not a fight a for my life, my sanity maybe, but not my life, so how dare I contemplate the thought of just giving up and saying, "maybe I'm just not meant to be mother." And yes, I have thought that many times in the last few months. My journey to motherhood is just as important to me as the the journey for a cure is to the woman with breast cancer.

So, whatever journey you are on I encourage you to continue on that journey with the fervor of a breast cancer patient on a journey for a cure. Don't Give Up! I know I won't.

I hope you all had an amazing Mother's Day. Hopefully next year we'll all celebrate together!

1 comment:

JackieMay 11, 2010 at 7:26 AM
wow..that's awesome that you were able to do that walk! It truly is an amazing and humbling experience to be surrounded by so many women who have been touched in some way by breast cancer! So glad it was able to give you a renewed vision of the journey you are on, too! I pray we will all be able to celebrate next year together too!! Love you!
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Yummy Fertility Recipes...they are good for anybody.

Breakfasts:
** Whole Wheat French Toast w/Turkey Bacon.--Beat 2 eggs, 1/4 c milk, 1 tsp each cinnamon and nutmeg and 2 tsp vanilla extract. Soak 1 piece whole wheat bread for 2 min. (since whole wheat is a little thicker it takes longer to soak in the egg mixture.) Place on skillet sprayed with cooking spray. Sprinkle with 1 tbs of powdered sugar and top with berries or bananas.
Snacks :
**1/2 c organic granola, 1 c Oikos organic Greek yogurt, and 1/2 cup sliced strawberries
**Celery with PB and Raisins (I know flash backs to Kindergarten)
Lunch:
** 1 c Pasta Salad- 2 cups cooked whole wheat pasta penne (drained and cooled) at 1 can of Tuna, chopped onions, cucumber and tomato. 1 c Feta Cheese & 3/4 c Kraft Tuscan House Dressing and Marinade. Mix ingred well and chill 2hrs b4 serving.
Dinner:
**Italian Baked Salmon- Drizzle olive oil on bottom of baking dish. Place 4 Salmon Fillets in dish. Sprinkle with salt&pepper and turn over to coat both sides with oil. Squeeze juice of one lemon over top. In a mixing bowl, combine 160z can diced tomatos (organic if possible), chopped onion and garlic, juice of 2 fresh lemons, 2 tsp of each basil, oregano and italian seasoning. Mix together and pour atop Salmon. Spread to cover all. Bake at 350 for about 20-30 min.

My Fertile Foods List

Proteins: 3-5 Serv./day: Full fat dairy (when the fat is taken from it, the hormones are messed with and the chemicals mess with fertility, because of fat only 2 dairy serv. a day), beans, nuts, eggs, salmon, oysters, canned tuna. Limit intake of animal protein, lean poultry and lean red meat are okay once or twice a week.
Friuts & Veggies: 5 Serv./day: Leafy greens, spinach, avacados, sweet potatos (all help fertility and control sugar), Most fruits are fine, except bananas. Fertile fruits include: fresh pinapple, blueberries, oranges, grapefruit, all citrus.
Carbs: 5 serv./day :Whole grain bread, pasta, rice and cereal. No sugar or sugar substitutes. (Aspartame is very bad for reproductive system)
Beverages: 64oz.water daily, (I squeeze orange, lemon and grapefruit into mine to help) Green Tea sweetened with honey, and Milk. No caffeine, sugar, or even sugar-free drinks.

What is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome?

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. The name of the condition comes from the appearance of the ovaries in most, but not all, women with the disorder — enlarged and containing numerous small cysts located along the outer edge of each ovary (polycystic appearance).
Infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods, excess hair growth, acne and obesity can all occur in women with polycystic ovary syndrome. Menstrual abnormality may signal the condition in adolescence, or PCOS may become apparent later following weight gain or difficulty becoming pregnant.
The exact cause of polycystic ovary syndrome is unknown. Women with polycystic ovary syndrome may have trouble becoming pregnant due to infrequent or lack of ovulation. Early diagnosis and treatment of polycystic ovary syndrome can help reduce the risk of long-term complications, such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease and stroke.
Symptoms
Polycystic ovary syndrome signs and symptoms often begin soon after you first begin having periods (menarche). In some cases, PCOS develops later on during your reproductive years, for instance, in response to substantial weight gain.
Signs and symptoms vary from person to person, in both type and severity. To be diagnosed with the condition, your doctor looks for at least two of the following:
1.Menstrual abnormality. This is the most common characteristic.
2. Elevated levels of male hormones (androgens) may result in physical signs, such as excess facial and body hair.
3.Polycystic ovaries. Enlarged ovaries containing numerous small cysts can be detected by ultrasound. Despite the condition's name, polycystic ovaries alone do not confirm the diagnosis. To be diagnosed with PCOS, you must also have abnormal menstrual cycles or signs of androgen excess. Some women with polycystic ovaries may not have PCOS, while a few women with the condition have ovaries that appear normal.
4. Infertility. Women with polycystic ovary syndrome may have trouble becoming pregnant because they experience infrequent ovulation or a lack of ovulation. PCOS is the most common cause of female infertility.
5. Obesity. About half the women with polycystic ovary syndrome are obese.
6. Prediabetes or type 2 diabetes. Many women with polycystic ovary syndrome are insulin resistant, which impairs the body's ability to use insulin effectively to regulate blood sugar. This can result in high blood sugar and type 2 diabetes. Prediabetes is also called impaired glucose tolerance.
7.Acanthosis nigricans. This is the medical term for darkened, velvety skin on the nape of your neck, armpits, inner thighs, vulva or under your breasts. This skin condition is a sign of insulin resistance.

Talk with your doctor if you have menstrual irregularities — such as infrequent periods, prolonged periods or no menstrual periods — and have excess hair on your face and body or acne.

Causes:
In polycystic ovary syndrome, the pituitary gland may secrete high levels of LH and the ovaries may make excess androgens. This disrupts the normal menstrual cycle and may lead to infertility, excess body hair and acne.Doctors don't know the cause of polycystic ovary syndrome, but these factors likely play a role:
1. Excess insulin. Insulin is the hormone produced in the pancreas that allows cells to use sugar (glucose), your body's primary energy supply. If you have insulin resistance, your ability to use insulin effectively is impaired, and your pancreas has to secrete more insulin to make glucose available to cells. The excess insulin is thought to boost androgen production by your ovaries.
2. Low-grade inflammation. Your body's white blood cells produce substances to fight infection in a process called inflammation.
3. Heredity. If your mother or sister has PCOS, you might have a greater chance of having it, too. Researchers also are looking into the possibility that mutated genes are linked to PCOS.
4. Abnormal fetal development. New research shows that excessive exposure to male hormones (androgens) in fetal life may permanently prevent normal genes from working the way they're supposed to — a process known as gene expression. This may promote a male pattern of abdominal fat distribution, which increases the risk of insulin resistance and low-grade inflammation. Research continues to establish to what extent these factors might contribute to PCOS.

Researchers continue to explore possible causes of PCOS. Among topics of current research are whether low-grade inflammation and fetal exposure to excessive androgens might trigger the condition.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/polycystic-ovarian-syndrome

I have found this website to be helpful for me.
http://www.pcossupport.com/

My Journey to Motherhood

My Inspiration