My Inspiration

My Inspiration
"Soon, I'll have my little angel"

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

"Faith is not so much believing that God WILL provide a child, but believing that NOTHING is too hard for Him" -The Infertility Companion

I took a pregnancy test this morning-BFN. I had been feeling funny lately and had some weird pains in my lower abdomen and since I had only spotting the week I was supposed to have a period, I thought maybe. Each time I do this, I tell myself not to get my hopes up and I don't really, but yet every negative hits me like a punch in the gut. I am not crying or having one of my infertility meltdowns. I'm just...disappointed. We are in the middle of the fourth month of my journey, though I have been getting BFN for the last few years, It seems like a long time, and truthfully I really thought I would be pregnant by now. I have done everything right, lost weight, exercising daily, sticking to diet. I know, I know, it's just not God's timing for me. I know I must be patient, but I am human and it is difficult sometimes. But...I will keep trusting God, do my part, and prepare myself to be the best mother possible for my future child.

Even though today is kind of a Sarah* day I am going to leave with a picture of my first baby. A gift from my husband because, and I quote..."I know your sad about not being pregnant, so maybe having something to do during the day will help. Here, he'll keep you company." God bless the man, because I had some ugly thoughts passing through my mind. As if some dog would replace the fact that I don't have a child. I know he meant it lovingly and I truly do appreciate the However, my hubby knew something I didn't. This puppy truly did give me "something" to do during the day-because obviously cooking, and cleaning don't count as "something"- (sorry, still a little bitter 'bout that comment). Anyway, the puppy did do a good job keeping me company, and taking care of him was a lot like taking care of a baby. Or, so I think...he eats, poops, and sleeps. I swear, I thought there was something wrong with him because he slept so much. Now, I can't imagine being without him. May I present to you... Roscoe Escamilla:
He's a big boy and is going to get bigger. On Saturday's check up and booster shots he weighed 32.5 lbs almost ten pounds more than four weeks before at his first appointment. The vet said he could get close to 70 to 80 pounds. From the size of his paws, I believe it.

As of today he is 16 weeks about 4 months old. He is a black lab/boxer mix. He is too cute and a really good boy. We love him so much. I'll post more pics soon.

Tomorrow, I will explain what a Sarah day is.

1 comment:

  1. Your journey has been long inclusively, but the last 4 months that you've become more 'regular'isn't that long really. Even very furtile women take a while to conceive too, it's all in the timing. It sucks though, I will totally give you that one sweetie. Roscoe is SO handsome!!! I bet he keeps you busy. I know what I think a "Sarah" day is, at least in my world :o)