My Journey to Motherhood: "Faith is not so much believing that God WILL provide a child, but believing that NOTHING is too hard for Him" -The Infertility Companion

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

"Faith is not so much believing that God WILL provide a child, but believing that NOTHING is too hard for Him" -The Infertility Companion

I took a pregnancy test this morning-BFN. I had been feeling funny lately and had some weird pains in my lower abdomen and since I had only spotting the week I was supposed to have a period, I thought maybe. Each time I do this, I tell myself not to get my hopes up and I don't really, but yet every negative hits me like a punch in the gut. I am not crying or having one of my infertility meltdowns. I'm just...disappointed. We are in the middle of the fourth month of my journey, though I have been getting BFN for the last few years, It seems like a long time, and truthfully I really thought I would be pregnant by now. I have done everything right, lost weight, exercising daily, sticking to diet. I know, I know, it's just not God's timing for me. I know I must be patient, but I am human and it is difficult sometimes. But...I will keep trusting God, do my part, and prepare myself to be the best mother possible for my future child.

Even though today is kind of a Sarah* day I am going to leave with a picture of my first baby. A gift from my husband because, and I quote..."I know your sad about not being pregnant, so maybe having something to do during the day will help. Here, he'll keep you company." God bless the man, because I had some ugly thoughts passing through my mind. As if some dog would replace the fact that I don't have a child. I know he meant it lovingly and I truly do appreciate the gesture...now. However, my hubby knew something I didn't. This puppy truly did give me "something" to do during the day-because obviously cooking, and cleaning don't count as "something"- (sorry, still a little bitter 'bout that comment). Anyway, the puppy did do a good job keeping me company, and taking care of him was a lot like taking care of a baby. Or, so I think...he eats, poops, and sleeps. I swear, I thought there was something wrong with him because he slept so much. Now, I can't imagine being without him. May I present to you... Roscoe Escamilla:

He's a big boy and is going to get bigger. On Saturday's check up and booster shots he weighed 32.5 lbs almost ten pounds more than four weeks before at his first appointment. The vet said he could get close to 70 to 80 pounds. From the size of his paws, I believe it.

As of today he is 16 weeks about 4 months old. He is a black lab/boxer mix. He is too cute and a really good boy. We love him so much. I'll post more pics soon.

Tomorrow, I will explain what a Sarah day is.

1 comment:

UnknownApril 22, 2010 at 6:49 AM
Your journey has been long inclusively, but the last 4 months that you've become more 'regular'isn't that long really. Even very furtile women take a while to conceive too, it's all in the timing. It sucks though, I will totally give you that one sweetie. Roscoe is SO handsome!!! I bet he keeps you busy. I know what I think a "Sarah" day is, at least in my world :o)
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Yummy Fertility Recipes...they are good for anybody.

Breakfasts:
** Whole Wheat French Toast w/Turkey Bacon.--Beat 2 eggs, 1/4 c milk, 1 tsp each cinnamon and nutmeg and 2 tsp vanilla extract. Soak 1 piece whole wheat bread for 2 min. (since whole wheat is a little thicker it takes longer to soak in the egg mixture.) Place on skillet sprayed with cooking spray. Sprinkle with 1 tbs of powdered sugar and top with berries or bananas.
Snacks :
**1/2 c organic granola, 1 c Oikos organic Greek yogurt, and 1/2 cup sliced strawberries
**Celery with PB and Raisins (I know flash backs to Kindergarten)
Lunch:
** 1 c Pasta Salad- 2 cups cooked whole wheat pasta penne (drained and cooled) at 1 can of Tuna, chopped onions, cucumber and tomato. 1 c Feta Cheese & 3/4 c Kraft Tuscan House Dressing and Marinade. Mix ingred well and chill 2hrs b4 serving.
Dinner:
**Italian Baked Salmon- Drizzle olive oil on bottom of baking dish. Place 4 Salmon Fillets in dish. Sprinkle with salt&pepper and turn over to coat both sides with oil. Squeeze juice of one lemon over top. In a mixing bowl, combine 160z can diced tomatos (organic if possible), chopped onion and garlic, juice of 2 fresh lemons, 2 tsp of each basil, oregano and italian seasoning. Mix together and pour atop Salmon. Spread to cover all. Bake at 350 for about 20-30 min.

My Fertile Foods List

Proteins: 3-5 Serv./day: Full fat dairy (when the fat is taken from it, the hormones are messed with and the chemicals mess with fertility, because of fat only 2 dairy serv. a day), beans, nuts, eggs, salmon, oysters, canned tuna. Limit intake of animal protein, lean poultry and lean red meat are okay once or twice a week.
Friuts & Veggies: 5 Serv./day: Leafy greens, spinach, avacados, sweet potatos (all help fertility and control sugar), Most fruits are fine, except bananas. Fertile fruits include: fresh pinapple, blueberries, oranges, grapefruit, all citrus.
Carbs: 5 serv./day :Whole grain bread, pasta, rice and cereal. No sugar or sugar substitutes. (Aspartame is very bad for reproductive system)
Beverages: 64oz.water daily, (I squeeze orange, lemon and grapefruit into mine to help) Green Tea sweetened with honey, and Milk. No caffeine, sugar, or even sugar-free drinks.

What is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome?

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. The name of the condition comes from the appearance of the ovaries in most, but not all, women with the disorder — enlarged and containing numerous small cysts located along the outer edge of each ovary (polycystic appearance).
Infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods, excess hair growth, acne and obesity can all occur in women with polycystic ovary syndrome. Menstrual abnormality may signal the condition in adolescence, or PCOS may become apparent later following weight gain or difficulty becoming pregnant.
The exact cause of polycystic ovary syndrome is unknown. Women with polycystic ovary syndrome may have trouble becoming pregnant due to infrequent or lack of ovulation. Early diagnosis and treatment of polycystic ovary syndrome can help reduce the risk of long-term complications, such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease and stroke.
Symptoms
Polycystic ovary syndrome signs and symptoms often begin soon after you first begin having periods (menarche). In some cases, PCOS develops later on during your reproductive years, for instance, in response to substantial weight gain.
Signs and symptoms vary from person to person, in both type and severity. To be diagnosed with the condition, your doctor looks for at least two of the following:
1.Menstrual abnormality. This is the most common characteristic.
2. Elevated levels of male hormones (androgens) may result in physical signs, such as excess facial and body hair.
3.Polycystic ovaries. Enlarged ovaries containing numerous small cysts can be detected by ultrasound. Despite the condition's name, polycystic ovaries alone do not confirm the diagnosis. To be diagnosed with PCOS, you must also have abnormal menstrual cycles or signs of androgen excess. Some women with polycystic ovaries may not have PCOS, while a few women with the condition have ovaries that appear normal.
4. Infertility. Women with polycystic ovary syndrome may have trouble becoming pregnant because they experience infrequent ovulation or a lack of ovulation. PCOS is the most common cause of female infertility.
5. Obesity. About half the women with polycystic ovary syndrome are obese.
6. Prediabetes or type 2 diabetes. Many women with polycystic ovary syndrome are insulin resistant, which impairs the body's ability to use insulin effectively to regulate blood sugar. This can result in high blood sugar and type 2 diabetes. Prediabetes is also called impaired glucose tolerance.
7.Acanthosis nigricans. This is the medical term for darkened, velvety skin on the nape of your neck, armpits, inner thighs, vulva or under your breasts. This skin condition is a sign of insulin resistance.

Talk with your doctor if you have menstrual irregularities — such as infrequent periods, prolonged periods or no menstrual periods — and have excess hair on your face and body or acne.

Causes:
In polycystic ovary syndrome, the pituitary gland may secrete high levels of LH and the ovaries may make excess androgens. This disrupts the normal menstrual cycle and may lead to infertility, excess body hair and acne.Doctors don't know the cause of polycystic ovary syndrome, but these factors likely play a role:
1. Excess insulin. Insulin is the hormone produced in the pancreas that allows cells to use sugar (glucose), your body's primary energy supply. If you have insulin resistance, your ability to use insulin effectively is impaired, and your pancreas has to secrete more insulin to make glucose available to cells. The excess insulin is thought to boost androgen production by your ovaries.
2. Low-grade inflammation. Your body's white blood cells produce substances to fight infection in a process called inflammation.
3. Heredity. If your mother or sister has PCOS, you might have a greater chance of having it, too. Researchers also are looking into the possibility that mutated genes are linked to PCOS.
4. Abnormal fetal development. New research shows that excessive exposure to male hormones (androgens) in fetal life may permanently prevent normal genes from working the way they're supposed to — a process known as gene expression. This may promote a male pattern of abdominal fat distribution, which increases the risk of insulin resistance and low-grade inflammation. Research continues to establish to what extent these factors might contribute to PCOS.

Researchers continue to explore possible causes of PCOS. Among topics of current research are whether low-grade inflammation and fetal exposure to excessive androgens might trigger the condition.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/polycystic-ovarian-syndrome

I have found this website to be helpful for me.
http://www.pcossupport.com/

My Journey to Motherhood

My Inspiration